Hugo Schwyzer

"Much of the anxiety about sexualization is really about outsourcing adult men’s self-control to the..."

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:07:27 -0400

“Much of the anxiety about sexualization is really about outsourcing adult men’s self-control to the bodies of young girls. The real sexualizers aren’t the marketers, but the older boys and men who are unwilling to distinguish grown women from children. Men aren’t nearly as weak, stupid, or easily deceived as we like to imagine. We fret about sexualization because we fret that grown men will, inevitably, see a short skirt, or a t-shirt with a provocative message, as an invitation—even on the body of a 12-year-old. That sells men woefully short. It’s not an overask—really, it isn’t—to expect adult men to see a 14-year-old in heels and makeup as still a child. The problem is less girls’ self-objectification and more adult men’s refusal to stop using that supposed self-objectification as an excuse to be predatory creepers.”

kogafoto: Humanities 3 (“Navigating Pornography”) w/ Professor...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 23:43:13 -0400

kogafoto:

Humanities 3 (“Navigating Pornography”) w/ Professor Hugo Schwyzer & guest lecturer James Deen @ Pasadena City College, 2/27/13.

As originally seen on XBIZ (On the Scene section).

Here’s an interview with Deen after the event on LAist. And Professor Schwyzer’s perspective. Plus coverage by the Pasadena Sun and Pasadena Star-News as well as L.A. news channels CBS 2, ABC 7, and FOX 11 (FOX aired three news reports about Deen by two different reporters that day!). My favorite joke was that the media (TV, print, online) outnumbered the students in the classroom.

"Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually..."

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 23:27:19 -0400

“Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions.

Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately.”

- (via nmsuwsprof)

thefeministfix: Three cheers (and blondes!) for sex positivity!...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 23:58:47 -0400

thefeministfix:

Three cheers (and blondes!) for sex positivity! With Jessica Drake and @hugoschwyzer (at Pasadena City College)

"Men don’t drink and disconnect and (yes) rape because they’re with the wrong partner. It’s both a..."

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:25:48 -0400

“Men don’t drink and disconnect and (yes) rape because they’re with the wrong partner. It’s both a dangerous oversell of female power and a devaluation of men’s responsibility to suggest that a woman’s empathy — or sexual adventurousness — is enough to restore an addict to sanity. Men like Adam (and the me that was) don’t need a particularly adventurous and understanding sex partner; we don’t drink and disappear into rage because we’re misunderstood. The love of a kinky woman won’t save us for long. We drink and disappear because we’re not working our program, because we’re not winning the fight every damn day against a disease that leaves us incapable of empathy, of sustained kindness.”

- hugoschwyzer.net

Photo

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:39:33 -0500

he’s got my vote

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 11:48:28 -0500

he’s got my vote

deenstoya: credit jeff koga

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 13:39:15 -0500

deenstoya:

credit jeff koga

thefeministfix: James Deen did indeed come to speak at PCC, and...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:35:47 -0500

thefeministfix:

James Deen did indeed come to speak at PCC, and it was a huge success. What a wonderful young man, breaking taboos left and right. I am so grateful he didn’t let the controversy stop him from talking with us!

"The virgin/slut dichotomy has long meant that a young woman is given two choices: have sex with no..."

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:01:26 -0500

“The virgin/slut dichotomy has long meant that a young woman is given two choices: have sex with no one, or give it up to everyone. One key way to fight slut-shaming is to reiterate that girls have the right to want to turn on whom they want to turn on – and still be treated with respect and care by those whom they don’t. That’s only an unreasonable expectation in a culture that expects very little from men.”

ponchopeligroso: every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably...

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 00:39:34 -0500

ponchopeligroso:

every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes

18 Lies About Modesty

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:04:15 -0500

Lie #18 about modesty: lust and empathy can’t coexist in men, and to invite the former risks the loss of the latter. #modestyweek

Lie #17 about modesty: if you’re in a relationship and you wear revealing clothing, you’re disrespecting your partner #modestyweek

Lie #16 about modesty: only sad, insecure women want to be validated for being hot. We should pity them, really. #modestyweek

Lie #15 about modesty: modest women have higher self-esteem, as they don’t use their bodies to get attention. #modestyweek

Lie #14 about modesty: how a woman dresses tells you most of what you need to know about her private life. #modestyweek

Lie #13 about modesty: men can’t lust and be respectful at the same time. It’s too much to ask from the poor widdle boyz. #modestyweek

Lie #12 about modesty: you show respect for God by how little skin you show to others. (Misreading of Scriptures abound.)#modestyweek

Lie #11 about modesty: revealing clothing invariably advertises your sexual availability to every Tom, Harry, and Dick. #modestyweek

Lie #10 about modesty: male sexual desire should be women’s problem to manage, & it’s best managed by covering up.#modestyweek

Lie #9 about modesty: an interest in being validated for being beautiful or sexy indicates you’re frivolous, silly and vain#modestyweek

Lie #8 about modesty: if you wear revealing clothing, you don’t respect the sisterhood. Female solidarity requires no cleavage!#modestyweek

Lie #7 about modesty: modest dress can protect you from rape and harassment and disrespect. #modestyweek

Lie #6 about modesty: women are asking for too much if they want to be both sexy and taken seriously. Silly, men can’t do that .#modestyweek

Lie #5 about modesty: sexy clothes send “mixed signals” to simple-minded doofuses; this can lead to rape and assault. #modestyweek

Lie #4 about modesty: every woman who chooses modest dress is a victim of a patriarchy. #modestyweek

Lie #3 about modesty: men are so weak that women need to protect them from temptation by concealing their bodies #modestyweek

Lie #2 about modesty: women who wear revealing clothing lack self-esteem or self-respect #modestyweek

Lie #1 about modesty: women’s worth correlates with how little skin they reveal #modestyweek

"MA'AM" - MEN AGAINST ASSHOLES & MISOGYNY: Paul Blonsky is a "MA'AM"

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:02:36 -0500

"MA'AM" - MEN AGAINST ASSHOLES & MISOGYNY: Paul Blonsky is a "MA'AM":

menagainstassholesandmisogyny:

Women’s Rights is not a Zero Sum Game

There are plenty of posts on this site that reflect my own beliefs and I do not want to repeat extensively what others have already said. I do want to add something from my perspective and address a trend I see in the attacks by misogynist men…

The Feminist Fix: Fuck Yeah Friday: Here's to You, Jen Kirkman

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:10:19 -0500

The Feminist Fix: Fuck Yeah Friday: Here's to You, Jen Kirkman:

thefeministfix:

Jen Kirkman is a female comedian who’s sick of the backlash she gets, and I don’t blame her. So she’s decided to have a “Twitter Strike,” which will last until men start speaking up for her and any other woman who has the guts to stand up for feminism. (Background here in case you haven’t…

"It’s a lot more pleasant to believe that your husband is weak than it is to believe that he..."

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:41:37 -0500

“It’s a lot more pleasant to believe that your husband is weak than it is to believe that he had the capacity to resist temptation, but made a conscious decision not to do so. This is what makes the “myth of the uncontrollable boner” so seductive; it’s preferable to think that a painful betrayal was the result of irresistible evolutionary imperatives rather than choice. “My man is so manly that he gets urges that trump his very real love for me” is ever so much prettier than “In the end, he didn’t care about me enough to keep it in his pants.””

- Why We Still Fall for the Myth of the Uncontrollable Boner

"‎Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it,..."

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 18:28:27 -0500

“‎Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts.”

- Salman Rushdie (via thefeministfix)

My Sweet Boy, My Goy Toy

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 01:15:29 -0500

My Sweet Boy, My Goy Toy

5 Reasons You Should Major in Women's Studies

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 15:46:33 -0400

5 Reasons You Should Major in Women's Studies:

thefeministfix:

By Hilary Watchler. I am seriously considering double majoring in English and Women’s Studies (or at least trying), and this just confirmed that. Even if you don’t think a Women’s Studies major is for you or if your college days are over, you should give this a read.

thefeministfix: ourvote: Name: Julie Zeilinger Age: 19 State:...

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 00:25:46 -0400

thefeministfix:

ourvote:

Name: Julie Zeilinger

Age: 19

State: Ohio

Claim to fame: Founder and editor of the FBomb, a feminist blog and community for teens and young adults.

Her Pep Talk: “There are already so many forces out there trying to silence you. You don’t need to help them.”

Go read her book. Now.

"The reality is that girls are more resilient than we think. That doesn’t mean that hurt..."

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 18:25:53 -0400

“

The reality is that girls are more resilient than we think. That doesn’t mean that hurt isn’t real, but that their capacity to overcome shame, heartbreak, and a C on their chemistry quiz is much greater than we permit them to believe. We’re scared to teach our daughters that they can slough off humiliation, largely because we fear that letting go of the “one mistake can ruin your life” narrative will be misinterpreted as a hall pass to recklessness. The erroneous belief that fear is the best tool to keep girls “safe” and “on track” is what drives this pernicious myth of female frailty.

Acknowledging girls’ capacity to thrive after a “mistake” doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t acknowledge their very real pain. Teaching resilience doesn’t mean foisting an unhelpful “big girls don’t cry” message on vulnerable adolescents. It means focusing on giving them what we’ve given their brothers for decades: the chance to see failure –- and even humiliation -– as an opportunity rather than as a life-destroying disaster.

”

- One Mistake Won’t Ruin Your Life. Remember That. — Jezebel